Navigating Social Events During Eating Disorder Recovery

Social Events & Eating Disorders

Holiday parties, birthdays, nights out with friends, barbecues and company meetings are sprinkled throughout the entire year. For those struggling with eating disorders, social events can be a continuous challenge that causes feelings of anxiety.

Eating disorders affect every area of life, including relationships and socializing. It is common for those suffering from eating disorders to self-isolate and spend less time socializing. This is because a lot of social events revolve around food, which for those with eating disorders can spark feelings of:

• Anxiety or discomfort
• Shame, embarrassment or “feeling out of place”
• Self-consciousness

In response to these feelings, many of those with eating disorders can get into the habit of avoiding social gatherings altogether.

Importance of Socializing

Socializing can help prevent yourself from self-isolating. Without support or intervention, eating disorders can worsen over time in private. Self-isolation can put you at risk for:

• Increased disordered eating behaviors
• Decreased social support
• Inability to form relationships
• Delayed eating disorder treatment

Why Are Social Gatherings So Stressful?

They disrupt routines

Routine is integral for many of those in eating disorder treatment or in recovery. Social gatherings can throw a wrench in this schedule, which can feel stressful, disruptive or overwhelming. While many people become more flexible the longer they’re in recovery, others – especially those early in recovery – may be triggered by changes in how, what or when they eat.

Eating more than initially planned or eating specific foods can spark feelings of guilt or shame. Celebrations can also trigger strong positive emotions that contribute to positive urgency (the tendency engage in impulsive behavior when experiencing strong positive emotions), which contributes to binge eating. These can both increase the risk of disordered eating after the social event to compensate.

They revolve around food

Food plays a central role in most social events. Summer cookouts, holidays like Thanksgiving and food festivals – the year is jammed with social events that revolve around food. Because so many social gatherings have food at their center, it can feel scary and isolating, instead of fun, when you try to socialize. Changes in eating habits, food rituals and other structure as well as exposure to fear  foods or alcohol can also add to the stress and chaos of the event. These triggers can increase anxiety and lead to disordered eating behaviors.

They require social eating

Eating in public can be very stressful when you’re struggling with an eating disorder. Maybe you’re used to eating alone or in the company of a few close loved ones. Being in a situation where you need to eat in front of others can be challenging because it often triggers feelings of:

• Self-consciousness, embarrassment or discomfort eating in front of others
• Cognitive distortions, like being stared at or judged
• Fear of people commenting on their food choices or appearance
• Uncertainty about portion sizes (eating “too much” or “too little”)

Attending Social Events with Confidence

Preparing before the event

Everything starts with a plan. If you have a therapist or dietitian, talk with them before the event to help develop a coping strategy. To help you plan, get a sense for the event:

• Who will be at the event?
• How long do you wish to stay?
• If possible, can you incorporate this event into your usual meal plan?

It’s also important to maintain your existing meal plan. Don’t skip meals or snacks to “prepare” for the event – try to maintain normalcy as much as possible. Nourishing your body can help you overcome the challenges that might arise during social gatherings.

Having your support network by your side can also make events more manageable. Having someone there who can both support you and encourage you to enjoy the event can make all the difference. If they can’t be there in person, stepping aside for a quick text or call can help you get the support you need.

Attending the event

Even when you plan ahead, you might still be challenged. Even though so many events revolve around food, they can also spark conversations about diet culture, eating habits or body shaming. Try to avoid these conversations or steer these the conversation in a neutral direction.

If you’re exposed to a trigger, use the skills and strategies you’ve worked on in treatment or with your therapist to cope. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to decompress. Turn to your support system with a quick chat, text or call about what happened. When you’re ready, return to the vent.

If your social battery is running low or if the event is more challenging than you expected, it’s okay to leave. The fact you showed up and gave it your best effort is proof enough of how far you’ve come in your recovery.

Self-care afterwards

When you get home, it’s important to take time to yourself and decompress. When you have a moment to reflect, ask yourself:

• Did planning help?
• How did you interact with food?
• How did the event make you feel?
• Did you lean on your support system?

This can help you improve your strategies for next time. Even if you’re struggling with social gatherings, over time they will become easier as you become more familiar with yourself, your triggers and your coping mechanisms.

Socializing Without Food

Even though social events often revolve around food, there are other ways to socialize. Take initiative and invite your friends or loved ones to do activities that are unrelated to food, like:

• Artistic activities: group crafts, pottery classes
• Intellectual activities: book clubs, board games, card games
• Outdoor activities: bird watching, biking, hiking, gardening, scavenger hunts
• Entertainment: Going to a concert, museum, movie or amusement park

You can also recommend non-food activities whenever someone is planning an event. Non-food events are for everyone! They are another way people at the event can socialize, learn, express themselves and just have fun.