Fighting Shame & Self-Criticism: The Benefits of Self-Compassion in Eating Disorder Recovery

Individuals with eating disorders often struggle with strong feelings of shame, self-criticism and lower levels of self-compassion. But it is possible to increase self-compassion for one’s self and others. By working with a therapist, individuals with eating disorders can transform maladaptive patterns of shame and criticism into compassion and acceptance.

How do shame and self-criticism contribute to eating disorders?

Shame, a self-conscious emotion marked by feelings of humiliation, inadequacy and unworthiness, is commonly experienced by individuals with eating disorders. Shame can worsen eating disorders through increased isolation and self-criticism, leading them to use disordered eating behaviors as a coping mechanism. Shame can also make it more difficult to seek support, allowing the disorder to persist and grow.

Shame often presents through negative self-assessments about body image, weight and shape, and has been found to be a strong predictor of greater eating disorder symptoms.¹

In addition to shame, studies have repeatedly shown that individuals with disordered eating and eating disorders experience greater self-criticism, lower self-compassion and more fear of compassion than their peers.²

Eating disorders and self-compassion

Dr. Kristin Neff, a writer and expert on self-compassion, defines self-compassion as comprising three main elements: self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness.³

• Self-kindness: A positive, kind and productive attitude is necessary when encountering pain and personal shortcomings. 
• Common humanity: Suffering and personal failure are part of the shared human experience; suffering is universal rather than isolated. 
• Mindfulness: One must be aware of one’s emotions free of suppression or exaggeration; one needs to be nonjudgmental to observe thoughts and feelings as they are. 

Self-compassion can help reduce shame by replacing harsh self-criticism with kindness and understanding. When people respond to their suffering with compassion instead of judgment, it weakens the belief that they are fundamentally flawed and helps rebuild a sense of worth and connection.

What are the proven benefits of self-compassion?

Emerging research indicates that self-compassion offers significant benefits for individuals with eating disorders and poor body image. It can help reduce psychological distress, boost self-esteem, decrease self-directed hostility and alleviate concerns about weight and shape, as well as improve cognitive and behavioral symptoms of eating disorders. 

Decreased eating disorder symptoms

Self-compassion has been shown to improve eating disorder symptoms. In studies focused on eating disorder groups specifically, self-compassion is linked with:

• Lower rates of disordered eating
• Lower body shame
• Lower anticipated disordered eating
• Lower endorsement of weight-gain concern and self-punishment

This is also supported by evidence indicating that lower levels of self-compassion are associated with poorer responses to treatment.⁴

Decreased depression and anxiety

Greater self-compassion can help improve symptoms of depression and anxiety. Of individuals with eating disorders, 62% also experience an anxiety disorder, and up to 75% have a mood disorder.⁵

Self-compassion has been shown to predict various aspects of well-being and positive psychological functioning, including reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety.⁶

Decreased weight and shape concerns

Self-compassion can help reduce weight and shape concerns that are characteristic of eating disorders, resulting in:⁶

• Less appearance-contingent self-esteem
• Lower body concerns and eating guilt
• Lower social physique anxiety
• Lower objectified body consciousness

Decreased perfectionism and self-directed hostility

Self-compassion can help reduce perfectionist traits, which are heightened in patients with eating disorders like bulimia nervosa and anorexia nervosa.⁷ Self-compassion has been shown to decrease self-criticism and perceived discrepancies between performance and expectations standards.⁶

Improved adaptive skills

Self-compassion influences conceptual, social and practical skills used in daily life. It is a strong predictor of adaptive functioning including⁶:

• Realistic self-appraisal
• More balanced reactions to stressful events
• Greater self-worth stability
• Less self-worth contingency
• Less social comparison

Greater relationship satisfaction

Self-compassion can lead to greater relationship satisfaction, which is especially important because many individuals with an eating disorder isolate themselves from family, friends and loved ones as the disorder progresses.

In women, self-compassion is linked to increased motivation to resolve problems and fewer declines in relationship satisfaction.⁸

Self-compassion in psychotherapy

Compassion-focused therapy for eating disorders

Compassion-focused therapy (CFT) emphasizes developing compassion and addressing emotional challenges more broadly.

Compassion-focused therapy for eating disorders (CFT-E) includes interventions and techniques designed to address the complex interaction of factors that characterize eating disorders. It incorporates specific treatments targeting distorted body image, unhealthy eating behaviors and self-criticism related to body weight and shape.

Cognitive behavioral therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy that targets challenging and changing cognitive distortions and related behaviors. CBT can help promote self-compassion by identifying and confronting harsh self-critical thoughts and replacing them with more balanced, realistic ones.

Practical ways to practice self-compassion

Self-compassion letter writing

A self-compassion letter is a written message of empathy, support and encouragement directed to oneself during difficult or emotionally painful moments. Instead of avoiding difficult feelings or judging oneself harshly, the letter encourages confronting struggles with honesty and kindness.

Mindful self-compassion

Mindful self-compassion (MSC) blends mindfulness skills with self-compassion to boost emotional resilience. MSC programs feature conceptual learning, meditations and informal self-compassion practices meant for everyday use.

Physical self-soothing

Taking a warm shower, wrapping up in a blanket or placing a hand over the heart helps calm the body’s stress response and creates a sense of safety. When the body feels cared for and regulated, it becomes easier to respond to oneself with kindness and compassion rather than criticism.

Get help for a severe eating disorder

If you or someone you care about is struggling with a severe eating disorder, seeking professional help is an important step toward recovery. Practicing self-compassion – approaching yourself with kindness rather than judgment – can help counter the shame that often keeps people stuck and make it easier to reach out for support.

References

1. Kenny, S., Erceg‐Hurn, D., Tonta, K. E., Raykos, B. C., Campbell, B., & McEvoy, P. (2024). The contribution of shame to eating disorder treatment outcomes in a community mental health clinic. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 57(9), 1936–1944. https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.24248
2. Stock, M., Beaman, L., Moreton, R., Holland-Borosh, C., Hartland, H., & Hamadi, L. (2025). The efficacy of compassion focused therapy in eating disorders: A systematic review of the literature. Journal of Eating Disorders, 13, Article 235. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40337-025-01418-4
3. Neff, K. (n.d.). What is self-compassion? Self-Compassion Institute With Dr. Kristin Neff. https://self-compassion.org/what-is-self-compassion/
4. Kelly, A. C., Carter, J. C., Zuroff, D. C., & Borairi, S. (2012). Self-compassion and fear of self-compassion interact to predict response to eating disorders treatment: A preliminary investigation. Psychotherapy Research, 23(3), 252–264. https://doi.org/10.1080/10503307.2012.717310
5. Hambleton, A., Pepin, G., Le, A., Maloney, D., National Eating Disorder Research Consortium, Touyz, S., & Maguire, S. (2022). Psychiatric and medical comorbidities of eating disorders: Findings from a rapid review of the literature. Journal of Eating Disorders, 10, Article 132. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40337-022-00654-2
6. Breines, J., Toole, A., Tu, C., & Chen, S. (2013). Self-compassion, body image, and self-reported disordered eating. Self and Identity, 13(4), 432–448. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2013.838992
7. Dahlenburg, S. C., Gleaves, D. H., & Hutchinson, A. D. (2019). Anorexia nervosa and perfectionism: A meta‐analysis. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 52(3), 219–229. https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.23009
8. Baker, L. R., & McNulty, J. K. (2011). Self-compassion and relationship maintenance: The moderating roles of conscientiousness and gender. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 100(5), 853–873. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0021884