Overcoming Ambivalence: Being an Active Participant in Eating Disorder Treatment
Eating Disorder Treatment Ambivalence
Ambivalence is a state of experiencing conflicting emotions or thoughts about something simultaneously. It can also be described as feeling “torn” between two things or ideas. In the context of an eating disorder, ambivalence can refer to feeling undecided or hesitant about treatment or recovery.
Switching between accepting treatment and maintaining your eating disorder can feel confusing, but this feeling about treatment is common. You might realize the harm your disorder causes, but still not feel ready to seek help. Feeling this way can be a typical part of many people’s recovery journey.
Why do eating disorders feel “safe”?
An eating disorder can feel safe because it’s a familiar experience to you and you know what to expect within its framework. It has played a role in your life in some way, even if you don’t quite fully know what that role is. The uncertainty of recovery – change – can be intimidating.
Disordered eating behaviors act as a coping mechanism for negative experiences and overwhelming emotions, and it can be nerve-wracking to give up what you’ve become accustomed to.
Overcoming Ambivalence in Eating Disorder Recovery
Name your feelings and fears
Make your feelings and fears concrete by naming them. Starting your recovery can feel overwhelming and uncomfortable at first, but you can soothe your mind by exploring why you’re uncertain about the process. Writing down these feelings, whether as an essay or in bullet points, can give you a tangible, organized way to see what’s in your mind.
This is also a chance to identify any practical barriers between you and treatment, such as:
- Financial issues
- Familial responsibilities
- Taking a leave of absence from school or work
- Pet care
Explore your true values
Eating disorders can distort your sense of true values and keep you from living authentically. They often come with a price, taking away the aspects of your life that you truly enjoy, like relationships, activities, places and accomplishments.
Take time to explore what matters most to you and consider how your eating disorder prevents you from embracing those values. What benefits might you gain by embracing recovery? Reflect on this and let it strengthen your dedication to your recovery journey.
Lean on your support system
Your loved ones and treatment team are there for you to lean on. They are waiting in the wings for the moment you feel like giving up, encouraging you to keep going.
Share how you feel ambivalent and see how they may be able to help. Maybe you need a friend to listen to your frustrations with recovery, a provider to refer you to treatment or a partner to help lighten your load at home so you can focus more energy on recovery. Whatever you might need, you and your support system can figure it out together.
Be kind to yourself
Recovery is a challenging process and won’t always be easy. Being kind, patient, and compassionate with yourself will go a long way. When you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, take a moment to remind yourself:
- It’s okay to struggle
- It’s human have flaws
- Judging yourself harshly will not improve the situation
- This is an opportunity to grow
Being an Active Participant in Your Treatment & Recovery
Setting realistic expectations for recovery
Recovery isn’t straightforward, and it’s more common to face setbacks than to never have them. There’s nothing shameful about taking a step back, re-entering treatment or moving up to a higher level of care. Every relapse or setback is a learning opportunity, and over time you will learn more about yourself, grow and adapt.
Setting recovery intentions
Goal-setting is a valuable tool for recovery from an eating disorder, but it can also help foster growth in all areas of life. Becoming an active participant in life requires recognizing that you control your life’s direction. Things don’t just happen to you; they are influenced by the decisions you make. Setting goals is only one part of driving that change.
Be mindful and intentional
Being an active participant in life requires effort and mindful decision-making. You not only need to understand yourself and your values but also take action to move closer to your goals. The life you want won’t just happen on its own; you have to make decisions that shape your life the way you envision.
This begins with being mindful and intentional by setting aside time, creating new routines or seeking new and interesting opportunities that will lead to the changes you want to see in your life. It also means holding yourself accountable when you struggle to make decisions that help advance your goals, or when you fail to stay aligned with your values in your actions.
Find ways to stay grounded
Finding ways to stay grounded is important to engaging with life. Remaining grounded can help to create emotional, physical and/or spiritual bridges to your surroundings. Using activities that keep you grounded will give you time to spend with yourself, reevaluate what’s important to you and recharge. Some examples are:
- Yoga or stretching
- Nature walks
- Diaphragmatic breathing
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation
- Essential Oils
- Meditation or prayer
Addressing Ambivalence in Psychotherapy
Motivational interviewing
Motivational Interviewing (MI) is an evidence-based counseling approach that aims to strengthen an individual’s motivation and commitment to change by exploring ambivalence rather than using persuasion or pressure.
MI directly targets ambivalence by exploring clients’ mixed feelings about change and connecting recovery goals to personal values. It strengthens intrinsic motivation, helping clients commit to actionable steps at their own pace.
Cognitive behavioral therapy
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a first-line treatment for eating disorders. CBT is a form of psychotherapy that can help patients identify and challenge thoughts and beliefs that maintain ambivalence about treatment. Through cognitive restructuring and behavioral experiments, patients can weigh pros and cons and take gradual, concrete steps toward recovery.
Dialectical behavioral therapy
Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) can be used to address eating disorders and other conditions. DBT addresses ambivalence by teaching mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotion regulation skills, helping patients observe and tolerate conflicting feelings about recovery while gradually practicing healthier behaviors. It balances acceptance and change, allowing clients to commit to recovery even when motivation is mixed.
